For the past 18 months I have struggled so much with WW. Essentially, I've not lost any weight. Yes I've lost some weeks, but I've put it back on pretty soon after. I've been coasting and I can't get back into the swing of it and I hate it. I know what I need to be doing, but I'm just not doing it. I thoguht this week was going to be different, but I've 2pp left and am about to eat a meal. I'm so shit at this.
I've started keeping a visual food diary on Tumblr, so if you're interested, you can follow me there.
http://lessofmeblog.tumblr.com/
Just another gal with a weight loss blog!
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Sunday, 1 May 2011
WI Results
I put 2lb on this week which I was happy with considering I haven't been near the gym and I've eaten pretty much what I want, when I want and haven't tracked. And, I've finally taken my measurements, so here they are.
Upper Arm: 11 1/4 inches
Lower Arm: 9 inches
Under boobs: 35 inches
Bra size: Measuring as a 40B, but can't fit in one so wearing a 40C
Waist: 40.5 inches (disappointed with this, I was 39 the last time I measured myself)
Hips: 41 1/2 inches
Thigh: 23 inches
Calf: 14 1/2 inches
Ankle: 9 inches
Dress size: Comfortable UK 16
So there it is. Hopefully I remember to check it monthly!
Upper Arm: 11 1/4 inches
Lower Arm: 9 inches
Under boobs: 35 inches
Bra size: Measuring as a 40B, but can't fit in one so wearing a 40C
Waist: 40.5 inches (disappointed with this, I was 39 the last time I measured myself)
Hips: 41 1/2 inches
Thigh: 23 inches
Calf: 14 1/2 inches
Ankle: 9 inches
Dress size: Comfortable UK 16
So there it is. Hopefully I remember to check it monthly!
Friday, 29 April 2011
Stressed & unhappy (can't think of a catchy title so there it is...)
image via weheartit.com
I've addressed this before but I just feel like I need to put it out there again, so that hopefully I can look back on it in future and see some progress.
This week has been pretty tough for me and I've been dealing with some emotional issues, and I'm not quite sure of the best way to overcome them. One of the main things I've been dealing with is an insane bout of jealousy. This in turn made me feel stupid, small, petty, childish and downright horrible. I sought advice from soneone online who I follow (I'd never broach this with one of my real life friends), and the advice they gave me was pretty much exactly what I knew in my head but I just don't know how to translate it into that gut feeling. Thankfully I'm not feeling jealous anymore, but just really sad and mean and unhappy.
Something I think it's all stemmed from is I still don't feel this huge improvement that everyone who loses weight seems to rave about - "I feel so much better!", "I look so much better!", "I have so much more confidence!", "I am so much happier with myself now!" - I don't feel any of this and I so wish that I did.
I still feel fat. Well, I still AM fat, but I still feel as fat as I ever did. In my head I know it's not true because my clothes are getting too big, I'm buying smaller sizes and the numbers on the scale are going down, but I still feel fat.
I still feel ugly. One of the main reasons I never bothered to lose weight was because I'd still have the same face. I hate the fact I feel like this. It's stupid. I'm in my 30s and I should be over this ridiculous teenage angst. What's making it worse just now is my hair is stressing me out. It's recently been thinning (I say recently, its been years, but my Dr can't find any reasons why) and it looks horrible. But again, it's not the end of the world and I just need to fricking get over it.
I still don't feel fit. I know I am a lot fitter than I was. Not at the top of my fitness but probably the fittest I've ever been in my life and I'm planning on keeping this up and improving it, but like I said I still don't feel fit.
These are all the stupid issues that have been dogging me this week. I am hoping it's maybe just a hormonal thing thats making them worse, but they're always there, in the back of my mind, taunting me.
If anyone has any advice on how to get over self image issues I'd love to hear them. And I hope I look back on this soon as see how far I've come.
Friday, 15 April 2011
WI Result & Review of 2011 goals so far...
I am a shite blogger. I started writing this post over two weeks ago, saved it to have my dinner and never came back to it. I said I would blog for myself so that I can see my accomplishments and I need to make sure I keep doing it as I'm not feeling very 'accomplished' just now!
So first things first, I dropped that strange 3lbs that I put on (EDIT: and have since lost another 0.5lb I think, I can't remember what weight I was when I wrote this and I don't have my WI card handy). When I think about it, I didn't think anything in my life had changed for me to put on 3lb, but I forgot that I changed my contraceptive pill. I thought I was about half way through my first pack, but I was actually 2 pills away from the end of the pack, so I'm guessing by that point there was hormonal stuff going on and what not and I dropped it again this week, so I don't think it was a "real" gain. I want to keep an eye on this though. I hear women say that they find it hard to lose at TOTM even if they stick to their points, or that they crave sweet things/comfort food so end up putting on and I've never had this problem, but I did notice this month I could've munched my way big time through chocolate/cakes/biscuits/puddings.
Last week I planned to review my 2011 goals as it was the start of a new quarter (ish) but as I wasn't in the best of moods that didn't happen so I'm going to do that now. My goals were:
Set my goal weight
Get to, or be very close to, goal weight
Get my 5 a day
Get fit(ter)
Try something new
Drop a dress size by mid year
Record my measurements
And here's how I've done:
Set my goal weight - DONE!
I've decided to set my goal weight at 9st 6lbs - the highest weight for my height in my 'healthy weight' catagory in my WW book. Once I get to here, I may change my mind and want to lose a bit more, but this is my goal at the moment.
Get to, or be very close to, goal weight - IN PROGRESS
Obviously each week I am working towards this. I feel like I need to ramp it up a bit though. I forgot how much I like seeing the numbers on that scale go down and I think I'll have a gain this week, so from Saturday I want to only see the numbers go down, down, down. We're having a "lose a stone challenge by June" challenge at work which I've decided to join. You don't win anything (other than being lighter!) but it's a little bit of motivation.
Get my 5 a day - FAILED (miserably!)
I am still really, really bad at this. I get maybe 2 a day maximum, never any more than that. It's all due to being lazy and I need to step up my game! Must. Try. Harder!
Get fit(ter) - IN PROGRESS
I am sticking to going to the gym a lot more and I definitely feel like I am getting fitter. I don't get out of breath as quickly doing things now and I've noticed my results at the gym improving, especially when Spinning. One thing I don't seem to be able to improve on is my weights. I lift the lightest, wussiest weights (max 8lb bodybar, but on a barbell I can only manage around 4.5lb). I recently read unless you are regularly lifting over 10lb there's no point in lifting weights so this is something I am going to work on, although I'm not sure how yet (I will ask my class instructor for advice).
One thing I also noticed with regards to fitness was that I was walking to another part of our office with a colleague the other day and we had to go up one floor. I instinctively went to walk up the stairs, but she pressed the button to go up the lift and I thought "the lift?! For one floor?! Nooo!" I got in anyway as we were mid conversation, but it's a big thing for that to be my natural reaction - normally I'd always choose the lift and I'd even avoid walking places with people so they wouldn't judge me for getting the lift one floor!
Try something new - DONE!
I tried Zumba and Spinning and I blogged about Spinning. At first I hated it. There are no words for how much I despised it. But now I like it and it's become a regular part of my workout schedule. I even look forward to it. I won't say I love it, that's not true, but I definitely like it bucketloads more than I did before!
I wasn't sure about Zumba but I haven't kept it up - this is mainly due to when the class is (8am on a Saturday) which means I need to shower etc before weigh in. I may go back this weekend if the class is on (it's a bank holiday weekend in the UK) but I'm not making any promises!
Drop a dress size by mid year - DONE!
I am now a very comfortable size 16 and to my glee and amazement I tried on a size 16 skirt the other day and it was slightly too big. It was in the shop that I always notice stuff getting big on me before anywhere else so hopefully it's a sign of things to come.
Record my measurements - FAIL
I've not done it since I said I would. I always forget, or if I do remember it's at a totally random and inconvenient time. I am going to make a point of doing it before WI on Sat as it'll be my first WI for the month and then do it on each monthly WI going forward.
Lately I've been feeling a bit despondent with the whole weight loss thing. Several of my friends started losing weight after me and they've either a) lost loads more weight than me or b) lost more inches/dress sizes than me and c) look far better than me! In fact, one of my friends was waxing lyrical about how amazing one of our friends looked after losing weight, then in the same breath told me I look ill and possibly anaemic and to see the Doctor and stop losing weight...didn't I feel awesome after that comment?! (This was the same friend who inspired this post by waxing lyrical again about how much weight the same weight losing friend had dropped only for me to tell her I'd lost more and then her fake her way through "ooh yes...um, I WAS going to mention that to you coz...errr...you...ummm...look....like.....soooo....errr....slim?"). I think the next time this frenemy mentions my weight loss I'll tell her to straight STFU! Anyway, my point was I was feeling inadequate and basically like a loser, but when I read over what I've achieved I remember I have done a lot and I'm doing well and I should continue to do well, and not give a shit about how anyone else is doing!
Finally, I am going to post up my Health & Fitness inspiration part 2 soon (I've been saying this for months, but I'm going to, honest!!) <3
So first things first, I dropped that strange 3lbs that I put on (EDIT: and have since lost another 0.5lb I think, I can't remember what weight I was when I wrote this and I don't have my WI card handy). When I think about it, I didn't think anything in my life had changed for me to put on 3lb, but I forgot that I changed my contraceptive pill. I thought I was about half way through my first pack, but I was actually 2 pills away from the end of the pack, so I'm guessing by that point there was hormonal stuff going on and what not and I dropped it again this week, so I don't think it was a "real" gain. I want to keep an eye on this though. I hear women say that they find it hard to lose at TOTM even if they stick to their points, or that they crave sweet things/comfort food so end up putting on and I've never had this problem, but I did notice this month I could've munched my way big time through chocolate/cakes/biscuits/puddings.
Last week I planned to review my 2011 goals as it was the start of a new quarter (ish) but as I wasn't in the best of moods that didn't happen so I'm going to do that now. My goals were:
Set my goal weight
Get to, or be very close to, goal weight
Get my 5 a day
Get fit(ter)
Try something new
Drop a dress size by mid year
Record my measurements
And here's how I've done:
Set my goal weight - DONE!
I've decided to set my goal weight at 9st 6lbs - the highest weight for my height in my 'healthy weight' catagory in my WW book. Once I get to here, I may change my mind and want to lose a bit more, but this is my goal at the moment.
Get to, or be very close to, goal weight - IN PROGRESS
Obviously each week I am working towards this. I feel like I need to ramp it up a bit though. I forgot how much I like seeing the numbers on that scale go down and I think I'll have a gain this week, so from Saturday I want to only see the numbers go down, down, down. We're having a "lose a stone challenge by June" challenge at work which I've decided to join. You don't win anything (other than being lighter!) but it's a little bit of motivation.
Get my 5 a day - FAILED (miserably!)
I am still really, really bad at this. I get maybe 2 a day maximum, never any more than that. It's all due to being lazy and I need to step up my game! Must. Try. Harder!
Get fit(ter) - IN PROGRESS
I am sticking to going to the gym a lot more and I definitely feel like I am getting fitter. I don't get out of breath as quickly doing things now and I've noticed my results at the gym improving, especially when Spinning. One thing I don't seem to be able to improve on is my weights. I lift the lightest, wussiest weights (max 8lb bodybar, but on a barbell I can only manage around 4.5lb). I recently read unless you are regularly lifting over 10lb there's no point in lifting weights so this is something I am going to work on, although I'm not sure how yet (I will ask my class instructor for advice).
One thing I also noticed with regards to fitness was that I was walking to another part of our office with a colleague the other day and we had to go up one floor. I instinctively went to walk up the stairs, but she pressed the button to go up the lift and I thought "the lift?! For one floor?! Nooo!" I got in anyway as we were mid conversation, but it's a big thing for that to be my natural reaction - normally I'd always choose the lift and I'd even avoid walking places with people so they wouldn't judge me for getting the lift one floor!
Try something new - DONE!
I tried Zumba and Spinning and I blogged about Spinning. At first I hated it. There are no words for how much I despised it. But now I like it and it's become a regular part of my workout schedule. I even look forward to it. I won't say I love it, that's not true, but I definitely like it bucketloads more than I did before!
I wasn't sure about Zumba but I haven't kept it up - this is mainly due to when the class is (8am on a Saturday) which means I need to shower etc before weigh in. I may go back this weekend if the class is on (it's a bank holiday weekend in the UK) but I'm not making any promises!
Drop a dress size by mid year - DONE!
I am now a very comfortable size 16 and to my glee and amazement I tried on a size 16 skirt the other day and it was slightly too big. It was in the shop that I always notice stuff getting big on me before anywhere else so hopefully it's a sign of things to come.
Record my measurements - FAIL
I've not done it since I said I would. I always forget, or if I do remember it's at a totally random and inconvenient time. I am going to make a point of doing it before WI on Sat as it'll be my first WI for the month and then do it on each monthly WI going forward.
Lately I've been feeling a bit despondent with the whole weight loss thing. Several of my friends started losing weight after me and they've either a) lost loads more weight than me or b) lost more inches/dress sizes than me and c) look far better than me! In fact, one of my friends was waxing lyrical about how amazing one of our friends looked after losing weight, then in the same breath told me I look ill and possibly anaemic and to see the Doctor and stop losing weight...didn't I feel awesome after that comment?! (This was the same friend who inspired this post by waxing lyrical again about how much weight the same weight losing friend had dropped only for me to tell her I'd lost more and then her fake her way through "ooh yes...um, I WAS going to mention that to you coz...errr...you...ummm...look....like.....soooo....errr....slim?"). I think the next time this frenemy mentions my weight loss I'll tell her to straight STFU! Anyway, my point was I was feeling inadequate and basically like a loser, but when I read over what I've achieved I remember I have done a lot and I'm doing well and I should continue to do well, and not give a shit about how anyone else is doing!
Finally, I am going to post up my Health & Fitness inspiration part 2 soon (I've been saying this for months, but I'm going to, honest!!) <3
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Hmph
So I thought the heavy feeling that was weighing me down was sadness. Turns out it wasn't. Turns out it was FAT. Three additional pounds of fat! I am so pissed off, confused and unhappy. I've never gained 3lbs in one week before (I did once, but I'd drank a ridiculous amount of water that day, not peed before weigh in and weighed in at night after 3 meals and not first thing. I also lost that 3lbs, and more, by the time I weighed back in normally four days later).
I said I wouldn't be surprised with a gain this week, but I meant 1lb max. I didn't overeat. I ate out, but felt I made good choices (Lentil soup, roast chicken no skin and a baked potato). I just don't understand it.
I'm just fed up in general at the moment and this hasn't helped. It's wiped out the last two weeks losses and my mini goals. I could actually cry, I'm so sad and angry and annoyed. Grrr.
I said I wouldn't be surprised with a gain this week, but I meant 1lb max. I didn't overeat. I ate out, but felt I made good choices (Lentil soup, roast chicken no skin and a baked potato). I just don't understand it.
I'm just fed up in general at the moment and this hasn't helped. It's wiped out the last two weeks losses and my mini goals. I could actually cry, I'm so sad and angry and annoyed. Grrr.
Friday, 1 April 2011
Way down in the hole
I've mentioned before that I never realised I was an emotional eater until I joined Weight Watchers, and today illustrated this perfectly.
I felt like shit today. I was so sad from the moment I woke up. I can't think of any better way to put it than to say I felt like my heart was breaking. It was so hard to act normal and hold conversations with people, far less perform to any decent standard at work. I wouldn't mind if there was a reason behind it, but there wasn't. There is something I'm really stressed about at the moment, but this just felt huge. It felt like sadness blown out of all proportion and with that sadness came a big hole inside and I wanted to fill it with food.
The thing is, where I would've gone ahead and filled it before with whatever I fancied I didn't today. Not because I didn't want to, but any of my go-to comfort foods just didn't seem that comforting. So I didn't stuff my mouth to stuff my feelings. I just felt them. Ha, I'm not sure if this is a NSV or not.
Hopefully this will go with a good nights sleep :)
I felt like shit today. I was so sad from the moment I woke up. I can't think of any better way to put it than to say I felt like my heart was breaking. It was so hard to act normal and hold conversations with people, far less perform to any decent standard at work. I wouldn't mind if there was a reason behind it, but there wasn't. There is something I'm really stressed about at the moment, but this just felt huge. It felt like sadness blown out of all proportion and with that sadness came a big hole inside and I wanted to fill it with food.
The thing is, where I would've gone ahead and filled it before with whatever I fancied I didn't today. Not because I didn't want to, but any of my go-to comfort foods just didn't seem that comforting. So I didn't stuff my mouth to stuff my feelings. I just felt them. Ha, I'm not sure if this is a NSV or not.
Hopefully this will go with a good nights sleep :)
Thursday, 31 March 2011
Quick update...
Another 1.5lb off this week (on Sat), which I was really pleased with. I have definitely turned a corner now I feel and I'm so happy to be back on track.
I don't expect such a good result this week - it's been a bit of a mare. Multiple eating out and trying to make the right choices but it's hard when you're a) as fussy as me and b) have such a shitty selection of healthy foods locally. I've also missed the gym a couple of times due to appointments (dentist etc).
On a more positive note, I had a breakthrough in the gym this week. I am still going to spin class but I find it so hard to keep standing up. I can only manage maybe 30 seconds max. I never found it comfortable - I'd either find it really painful in my thighs and couldn't push through, or it would hurt my calves or my ankles. I did stand up but just couldn't push through.
Well this week I had an absolutely shit day at work and felt miserable. I just wanted to come home and hibernate. I also felt really icky. Really nauseous and dizzy and just not 100%. I wasn't going to go. Right up til five minutes before I had to leave I wasn't going, but I did. Even when I got up there I thought "oh I could just go home before class starts" but I didn't - I went to class and ten minutes into it something unexpected happened - I felt amazing! I couldn't believe it. I had so much energy, all the sickness and dizziness just disappeared. I pedalled by little heart out! And then when it came to standing up, I did the whole time for two whole songs. I've never even been close to that before. I didn't manage the whole way through all of the standing up parts, but I stood up on all of them and I managed the whole time and the two longest parts.
One of the songs is super cheesy, I can't even remember the words but it's one of these 'reach for the top, keep going, don't give up' kinda dance numbers and I normally laugh (internally!) at it but I fully embraced the cheesiness this time! I reached for the top! I kept going! I didn't give up! I really couldn't believe I'd managed it, and I didn't even really struggle. It was hard but I didn't struggle or feel like sitting down, I just wanted to keep going. I had to hold back the tears, because (I've never said this before) I was so proud of myself. It was such a great moment and I'd say one of the key experiences I've had so far on my weight loss journey. Now I just need to keep it up!
<3
I don't expect such a good result this week - it's been a bit of a mare. Multiple eating out and trying to make the right choices but it's hard when you're a) as fussy as me and b) have such a shitty selection of healthy foods locally. I've also missed the gym a couple of times due to appointments (dentist etc).
On a more positive note, I had a breakthrough in the gym this week. I am still going to spin class but I find it so hard to keep standing up. I can only manage maybe 30 seconds max. I never found it comfortable - I'd either find it really painful in my thighs and couldn't push through, or it would hurt my calves or my ankles. I did stand up but just couldn't push through.
Well this week I had an absolutely shit day at work and felt miserable. I just wanted to come home and hibernate. I also felt really icky. Really nauseous and dizzy and just not 100%. I wasn't going to go. Right up til five minutes before I had to leave I wasn't going, but I did. Even when I got up there I thought "oh I could just go home before class starts" but I didn't - I went to class and ten minutes into it something unexpected happened - I felt amazing! I couldn't believe it. I had so much energy, all the sickness and dizziness just disappeared. I pedalled by little heart out! And then when it came to standing up, I did the whole time for two whole songs. I've never even been close to that before. I didn't manage the whole way through all of the standing up parts, but I stood up on all of them and I managed the whole time and the two longest parts.
One of the songs is super cheesy, I can't even remember the words but it's one of these 'reach for the top, keep going, don't give up' kinda dance numbers and I normally laugh (internally!) at it but I fully embraced the cheesiness this time! I reached for the top! I kept going! I didn't give up! I really couldn't believe I'd managed it, and I didn't even really struggle. It was hard but I didn't struggle or feel like sitting down, I just wanted to keep going. I had to hold back the tears, because (I've never said this before) I was so proud of myself. It was such a great moment and I'd say one of the key experiences I've had so far on my weight loss journey. Now I just need to keep it up!
<3
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