Stressed & unhappy (can't think of a catchy title so there it is...)

image via weheartit.com

I've addressed this before but I just feel like I need to put it out there again, so that hopefully I can look back on it in future and see some progress.

This week has been pretty tough for me and I've been dealing with some emotional issues, and I'm not quite sure of the best way to overcome them. One of the main things I've been dealing with is an insane bout of jealousy. This in turn made me feel stupid, small, petty, childish and downright horrible. I sought advice from soneone online who I follow (I'd never broach this with one of my real life friends), and the advice they gave me was pretty much exactly what I knew in my head but I just don't know how to translate it into that gut feeling. Thankfully I'm not feeling jealous anymore, but just really sad and mean and unhappy.

Something I think it's all stemmed from is I still don't feel this huge improvement that everyone who loses weight seems to rave about - "I feel so much better!", "I look so much better!", "I have so much more confidence!", "I am so much happier with myself now!" - I don't feel any of this and I so wish that I did.

I still feel fat. Well, I still AM fat, but I still feel as fat as I ever did. In my head I know it's not true because my clothes are getting too big, I'm buying smaller sizes and the numbers on the scale are going down, but I still feel fat.

I still feel ugly. One of the main reasons I never bothered to lose weight was because I'd still have the same face. I hate the fact I feel like this. It's stupid. I'm in my 30s and I should be over this ridiculous teenage angst. What's making it worse just now is my hair is stressing me out. It's recently been thinning (I say recently, its been years, but my Dr can't find any reasons why) and it looks horrible. But again, it's not the end of the world and I just need to fricking get over it.

I still don't feel fit. I know I am a lot fitter than I was. Not at the top of my fitness but probably the fittest I've ever been in my life and I'm planning on keeping this up and improving it, but like I said I still don't feel fit.

These are all the stupid issues that have been dogging me this week. I am hoping it's maybe just a hormonal thing thats making them worse, but they're always there, in the back of my mind, taunting me.

If anyone has any advice on how to get over self image issues I'd love to hear them. And I hope I look back on this soon as see how far I've come.