Lost track of trackin'

One of the main things (if not the main thing) that will help you be successful on WW is tracking. Be accountable for everything you put in your mouth and even if you know you've gone over points, write it down so you can identify how much of a problem it's been (if a problem at all) and as a visual reminder not to do it again. The problem is this week (and the week before) I haven't been taking my own advice!

I track through the eTools on the WW website and last week there were problems with the site at the beginning of the week. I'd go in to add things and it either wouldn't update or it said it would update but then when I went back in the info hadn't saved. In the end, I gave up trying to add stuff. This is not an excuse! There is nothing to stop me writing it down in a book or even in one of my old trackers that I have in the house and haven't used. I lost a pound last week but I think that was more down to good luck than good planning!

The same theme has carried on into this week, but in all honesty, I've not even tried to track this week. And for the first time in my journey, I've not pointed stuff because I'm scared I've gone over and I've just simply wanted to eat something that I've felt was "not allowed" (note: WW is all about being able to eat what you want. NOTHING is off limits, so why this thought of "I'm not allowed" has suddenly appeared in my head, I don't know!). So this week I am not expecting a loss. I have only been to the gym once (again, not like me normally but it's been the same the last four weeks) so that won't have helped.

If I have put on or stayed the same, I will take it on the chin. I know I have no one to blame but myself and I know where I've went wrong. And as of tomorrow, I WILL BE TRACKING EVERYTHING!

I also think it's maybe time to set myself another mini-goal. I've sort of been plodding along the last wee while, and I don't think this has helped.

** EDIT: Since posting this, I thought "why wait until tomorrow to start pointing?", so I have entered the 7.5 points I've had to eat today and will do the rest once I've eaten it.

WI & Setting Goal

So I had my WI today. 1lb off. Happy with that. 25.5lb off in total - 1 stone 11.5lbs, 2.5lbs til I reach 2 stone (and I should have 2 Silver 7 stickers to collect since I've still not got my last one!).

I've been thinking more and more about setting my goal recently, but don't know if it's still too early in my journey to do this. It's been so long since I've been a normal healthy weight, I'm not really sure what it should be anymore. The WW book said I should be between 7st 6lb (104lb - 98.5lb lighter than my starting weight) and 9st 6lb (132lb - 70.5lb lighter than my starting weight). Both just seem so far off just now, but the lower one just seems down right impossible! I will definitely put some thought into it.

One thing that surprised me today (and didn't really upset me but just surprised me) was I was out with my boyfriend for lunch and I was showing him my weigh in card. Normally he has been very supportive, full of congratulations whenever I lose and complimenting me on my figure changing (from the back. He is fully honest about the fact my huge gut hasn't shrunk at all) but when the waiter came over to take our order he said "Oh for god sakes will you put that away!" and got all flustered and embarrased. If you know what the WI cards look like, it's very unlikely someone who's unfamiliar with WW would even know what it was. So I guess it's all good his fat burd is loosing weight but not so much that people know how I'm doing it.

Hmmm...

People hear what they want

One thing that people who know I'm doing WW constantly ask me is "are you feeling better for it?", or even insist "oh you MUST feel better for it" which I'll be honest - I don't. I don't feel any different to what I did on 10th May when I joined. I don't feel slimmer, I don't feel beautiful, I don't feel healthy. I don't feel different at all. At first I questioned it. If everyone thinks I should feel better, then maybe I should? But now I've come to the conclusion that maybe I didn't feel that bad in the first place. And maybe people think that because you're fat (or indeed because they are fat) you will automatically feel super/amazing/great/fan-fuckin'-tasic coz you drop a few pounds.

Rant over :)

A first for me...

Today I am feeling pretty down about the whole WW thing. I'm not even thinking about giving up, but this is the first time I've felt like this. I'm not fed up with the plan, what I am fed up with is that I feel like I've been working really hard on this. I've been sticking to plan, I've been exercising anf going to the gym. I've made a point of not putting myself in situations where I'll be tempted to go off the rails and when I've been in social situations where I can't control what is served, I've made smart choices and what to and not to eat. Yet I'm feeling - where's the progress? I've lost 24.5lbs. That's 1 stone 10.5 lbs but I don't see it. I don't feel it. I just went to the shops and picked up a load of stuff to try on. Some in my normal size (UK size 20) which I was when I joined WW and a couple in an 18 as I can away with that sometimes. None of the 18s fitted. None of them. So how much freaking weight do I have to lose to drop a dress size?! It doesn't help that yesterday (when I actually didn'y feel like this) I went WAY over points so I'll spend the whole bloody week clawing them back. I'm not in a happy space today and hope that this will pass soon!

Friday Night Thoughts I...

So here we are, back to the night before weigh in. I've done quite well this week. Gym three times (could've been four, but I missed it tonight) and haven't gone over points at all. I had a thought tonight though...although I am not struggling with the plan itself, I've noticed that I've sort of lost my love for food. At this stage, I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. I mean, I have my dinner and look forward to it, but I never come away thinking "wow, I really enjoyed that!". It's just a process now. Hungry? Eat. Full? Stop. There's no temptation to stuff my face like before, but no enjoyment either. I don't even think it's down to the food I eat. Tonight I thought about all the things I like - mexican food, huge plates of pasta, curries, kebabs. None of it was appetising. Although I suppose it's good that that temptation to overeat it gone (for now), I have to admit I liked liking food. It was a social thing, a reward, fun. Maybe that's why I ate too much in the first place. It's something to think about...

I am also considering starting to measure myself now. I am starting to slightly notice my body changing, but in all honesty, it's not changing as quickly as I'd thought. Maybe if I can see the inches coming off (rather than just the pounds), it will seem more real to me. Although I'm scared of two things with this, one - that I am actually NOT losing inches and it will discourage me (I think this is unlikely) or two - that it will 'tempt fate' (I'm not superstitious but have some stupid quirks with things like this) and that it will undo all the good work I've done and I'll put it all back on. I'm just not sure right now.

The scores on the doors

Today was my first weigh in since last Thursday, which I didn't blog about as it wasn't very exciting.

Last week I couldn't make my normal Saturday weigh in, so had to attend another class on the Thursday evening instead. I was quite worried as it meant a) weighing in 2 days ahead of schedule and b) having to weigh in in the evening after having eaten breakfast and lunch (I normally don't eat before a weigh in, and have no idea if this actually does help, although in my mind it does). I went to the other class. Queued for half an hour to get weighed, and lost 0.5lb. A loss is still a loss and indeed I am happy with any loss, but the class was just a nightmare. Urgh. So busy and noisy and it was in a rough social club which stank of a mixture of stale booze and piss. Enough to put anyone off their food!

So today was my first proper weigh in in a fortnight, and I lost 2.5lb, yay! I was especially pleased as I've not made it to the gym much this week and I totally effed up my points one day!

I hit my 10% mark 3 weeks ago, but hadn't received anything for it, so I asked today and I got my keyring. I've not decided if I'm going to use it or keep it. But I didn't notice until I left that I should've had another silver 7 sticker as I've now hit 23lbs off. I'll mention that next week when I go to.

I'm now down to 12st 11.5lb and this means I'll drop another point off my daily allowance. I'm down to 20. I struggled with the drop the last time, don't know why - it's one freakin' point! - but I did, so hopefully it won't be so bad this time as I am generally not maxing my points out as much as before.

One thing I am definitely trying to cut back on this week is coffee. I buy 2 lattes a day and have 1 sugar in each. I am pointing them at 2 points per cup but it might be more. They're pretty big cups and they're make with semi skimmed milk. I might try to cut back to one a day and then hopefully none! I've tried to think of alternatives but can't. It's not even for the caffeine, it's the milk! Mad.

Anyhoo, 20 points this week...let's see how I get on!

PS - 23lbs down and I've still not dropped a dress size :( although I guess it gives me more time to save up for new stuff.